Marriage can be a beautiful thing. It can be loving and extremely fulfilling. Some marriages, however, don’t stand the test of time.
Marriage may be hard work, but the only thing harder than that it is a divorce. A divorce will take a toll on the whole family and you need to be fully prepared. Here are some tips on what to do when getting a divorce.
1. Be 100% Sure Of Your Decision
Dismantling your marriage will be traumatic for you, your spouse, and especially the children if you have any. Before you decide what to do when getting a divorce, be absolutely sure that you have no doubt about it. If you can easily say that you have done everything possible to save your marriage, then go ahead.
2. Deal With Emotions First
If getting the divorce was not your idea, it will probably cause you a lot of pain, feelings of betrayal, anger, frustration, bitterness, among other things. These emotions are bad for a divorce process because they drive arguments, court battles, and cause pain and regret. Controlling emotions is definitely not easy during a divorce, but try to keep your cool as often as you can so the process can be peaceful.
3. Try a Mediator Before Going to Court
Mediators bring out the best possible outcome. If your divorce process is not already a war zone, the minute you hire a lawyer, it definitely will be. You can opt for a mediator who is also a lawyer, which will not only save money but save as much of the relationship as possible.
4. Consult an Attorney
While you may not choose to go immediately to court, you should consult a divorce lawyer about your legal rights and responsibilities. You may feel like moving to your parents’ house with the kids during the divorce process is a good idea, but legally, it may not be.
5. Be Trusting But Verify Everything
Whatever agreement you come to, get it in writing so nobody forgets it. This is highly important when it comes to children and finances. Be prepared for surprises because things may not go according to what you think and have clear consequences for not abiding by those agreements
6. Focus on the Bigger Picture
The decisions you and your spouse make now will affect the whole family years to come. Focus on the important stuff, like the kids’ education and who is going to fund it. This way, when it’s time for them to go to college, you won’t have to get another mediator or lawyer.
7. Copy Documents
Every document you can find is important during a separation. Bank statements, check registers, retirement account statements, tax returns, insurance policies, credit card statements, automobile titles, etcetera.
8. Have a Marital Balance Sheet
Finances are a major part of your divorce and you need to list all your properties, assets and debts because it’ll be easier to split things when you know exactly what you own. Make a financial plan for your post-divorce future so you can either increase income or cut on expenses early enough.
9. Have a Support Team Together
You should not go through this alone because it will be challenging, overwhelming, complicated and downright stressful. It will drain you. You need to have great support for your emotional turmoil, your finances, and your legal issues.
You may also need child psychologists, realtors, and the like. Ensure you have the right people standing by you.
10. Set Realistic Goals
Decide what you want from the divorce and strive to get it but don’t assume that your spouse will do everything you want. Have realistic expectations to avoid getting disappointed.
You Know What to Do When Getting a Divorce
If you had no idea what to do when getting a divorce, these are some of the most important things to keep in mind. It’s not going to be easy so brace yourself and try to have the most peaceful process.
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