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Know When to Step Away: 7 Sad Signs It’s Time for a Divorce

We walked down the aisle, full of dreams, wishes, and plans. We had a vision for our future with our partner full of laughter and love. But, somewhere along the line, the sound of wedding bells turned into the sound of fighting. 

Understandably, you wonder what went wrong. You try and try to fix your relationship but it’s still not working. It’s difficult to let it go, but knowing the signs it’s time for a divorce may help you to move on or try again. 

Sometimes our relationships simply get off track. Relationships require both parties to willingly invest in the future of the relationship.

But, when things seem to be going wrong day after day we may become exhausted, frustrated, and feel like giving up. The thought of giving up can be painful, but the thought of continuing in this manner can be equally as painful. 

Each relationship is unique. Each partner has their own unique needs, personalities, and wants. But, to make it work both parties need to learn how to work together and resolve their differences. 

Read on to learn about the signs it’s time for a divorce for guidance on what to do next.

7 Signs It’s Time for a Divorce

When thinking about getting a divorce, we may feel completely alone. Our feelings may be overwhelming, but it’s worth recognizing that we aren’t alone at all. 40 to 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. 

We didn’t want our marriage to become a statistic, but remember that no one does. Each couple and partner has their reasons for wanting to get divorced. No one makes the decision to divorce lightly. 

Many people agonize over whether or not to get a divorce for months, even years. The fear of getting divorced may be a major factor since life after divorce is unknown. We may not know what life will look like after divorce nor how we will feel. 

If you live in Hawaii and want to learn more about divorce proceedings, then Kona Divorce Lawyers will be able to help. This can help to reduce your fears concerning the legal aspect of divorce if this is preventing you from getting one.

But, knowing the signs it’s time for a divorce may help us to make our decision. Explore the following signs it’s time for a divorce to learn more. 

1. Resentment and Contempt

When one or both partners feel resentment or contempt, it’s unlikely they’ll be able to listen to one another. Each partner may struggle to be understood but from the vantage point of the other person being wrong. 

During this type of interaction, one or both partners are likely to feel defensive. They may also feel unappreciated and unloved based on what the other partner is saying. In an attempt to protect themselves, they may refuse to back down from an argument.

Over time, when these arguments continue and one or both partners feel misunderstood, resentment can build. If resentments are present in your relationship, then this could be one of the signs it’s time for a divorce. 

2. Lack of Compromises

Relationships require compromises to be successful. Each compromise needs to be made for the benefit of the relationship, and both partners need to be willing to do so. If both partners are unwilling to compromise, then this may be a sign that you’ve reached an impasse in your marriage.

3. Unfaithfulness

Discovering that your partner is being unfaithful can be devastating. Recovering from an affair can also be difficult. The recovery process requires a ton of work, compromise, and a process of rebuilding trust. 

But, if one or more partners is being unfaithful, then it may be time for a divorce. 

4. Different Values

As much as we would like to remain the same, as people, we are constantly changing. Sometimes our values and interests can change, too. These changes, however, can create major problems in a marriage if these changes don’t jive with our partners. 

This can lead to endless fighting and one or both partners feeling held back. 

5. Disagreements about the Future

Life circumstances are likely to change during your relationship. Your spouse may want to move, have kids, or start going to school. All of these desires, however, affect both of you. 

And, when you’re not on board with what your partner wants any longer, then conflict may ensue. It’s important that both parties do what makes them individually happy to lead a fulfilling life. But, when one or both partners are unwilling to sacrifice, then it may be time for a divorce.

6. Diminished Intimacy

Do you feel like your spouse is more of a roommate than a lover? Does it feel like you’re just going through the motions without connecting with your partner?

Intimacy is more than just sex. Intimacy requires both partners to take an interest in the other, to spend time together, and to connect on a deeper level. If the intimacy has diminished or is non-existent in your relationship, then it may be a sign that you’ve grown apart.

7. Lack of Respect

The foundation of a relationship is trust and respect. Without respect, a relationship will be full of conflict and toxicity. A toxic relationship is a relationship in which one or both parties are acting in hurtful ways. 

This can include abuse, being selfish, or saying things to hurt the other partner. If yelling and arguing are also a new norm in your relationship, then it may be a sign that it’s become toxic. 

If you’re being abused by your partner, then this is a sure sign that it’s time to get individual professional help. Create a safety plan for exiting the relationship to ensure that you and your children are safe.

Signs It’s Time for a Divorce: Gaining Support

Knowing the signs it’s time for a divorce is one of the first steps in determining what action you should take next. Remember, each relationship is unique. Only you can decide if it’s truly time to get a divorce or to continue working on the relationship.

If your marriage is rocky, then seek out support. Find a marriage counselor and an individual therapist to help you during this time. An individual therapist will be able to help you to process your emotions and feelings about your relationship. 

Therapists can also help you to regain your confidence during this turbulent time. It’s also a good idea to practice self-care. Find ways to process your emotions and to focus on things you enjoy. 

For example, you can meditate, journal, or pick up an old hobby. It’s also a good idea to eat a healthy diet, exercise, and drink plenty of water. Of course, these things won’t necessarily save your relationship, but they can help you to cope and feel more at ease.

Want to learn more about practicing self-care? Check out our blog post for more ideas on how to improve your self-care routine.